Earth shattering news! I now have free tickets for whatever you have a hankering for, to be done with the Most Desirable Doable End Result, or MoDDER. Tickets are limited to one a week, with exceptions made for unexpected pop-ups of something potentially grand.
Limitations are set to ensure they won't be taken for granted. Tickets of this magnitude of importance have souls. They are potent suckers who demand well-deserved appreciation. And, like salt with too many cooks in the kitchen, over use can spoil your soulful soup. If I gave you unlimited tickets, you would use them for everything from constipation issues, to cheating at the lottery. Depreciation would sky rocket.
Tell you more about these glorious tix? Well, okay then:
1. Firm Choices When you have a confusing choice being thrown at your innocent face, use the ticket. You glare it squarely down, and firmly tell it that you want the Most Desirable, Doable, End Result from your selection.
Ask for clarity in which choice you should then make. Be quiet and humble, as if approaching a fawn for a camera selfie. The answer will come.
But, it may take a form you weren't expecting. Such as wondering which college would provide the best of everything for your life. The answer may not come as a letter screaming out that this is the place for you, signed by your personal angels. However, you could eavesdrop in-line at the flower market, and over hear a discussion of a university that has everything you've been searching for and more. The employees of MoDDERS can be rather creative in their correspondence.
2. Not Your Decision Use the ticket to ask for something that is not yours to decide on.
For instance, last week in traffic court, I told my ticket that I wanted the MoDDER. If you have ever fought a traffic ticket, you know that if the officer who gave the ticket doesn't show up, you automatically win. Out of the three people contesting speeding tickets, two officers showed up. The missing one was mine! Yey! I saved $276.
There is no guarantee that this will happen to you. But your odds of doing better than a non-MoDDER are at least a tsunami-sized percent better.
3. Tasty Twists There are sometimes twists in this stuff. Beware. Just because you didn't get the end result that you think would have been best, doesn't mean you've been ignored. It means that the MoDDER Spirit knows more than you do.
Say you go for a job interview, and don't get it. You may have even been thoroughly harassing your ticket for the job. It could be barely readable from you holding it with your daily meditation for hours on end, begging, pleading, falling to your knees.
Then you hear that some other smuck, whom you know was less qualified, got the position. After you rant and rave to friends, family, and strangers, take a breath and regain your faith. The Universe, that background checker of MoDDER tickets, knows more than you do. This, I guarantee.
It may turn out that a week later, an even better job simply falls into your lap. In the game of 20/20 hindsight, you will find the MoDDER was working full-speed ahead on your behalf the entire time. Because you are asking for the end result. Different than asking for a particular outcome.
If you ask for a particular conclusion , you are probably missing out on something more wild and foot-fancy free being able to grab you by the waist and wanfangle the Celebratory Dance.
Ticket Orders:
As my printer only has so much ink, I have devised an easy, efficient way for you to receive your weekly dose. Sit quietly in comfort, close your eyes, and envision the MoDDER ticket in your hands. It will suddenly appear, pre-assembled and ready for use.
To ensure your lifetime supply of MoDDER, say nice things, feel happy, and show appreciation for each redeemed ticket. Being thankful is key.
Post creative correspondences, uplifting outcomes, and frustrations in comment section below. Sharing stories keeps the world a sweet place to live.
Buy a book for a kid with a surprisingly happy ending:
Dolphin Divine,
MoDDER Moderator
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